Everybody Won't Stop Talking
by secretanimagi
Summary: Join the Marauders halfway threw their 6th year. Have no idea where I am going with this but I can promise lots of talking, blackinnon, jily, drinking and inevitably pranks. Who knows, let's just fuckin see.
1. Firewhiskey and Vodka

DISCLAIMER:

Fam basically its a giant Gryffindor house party on a Saturday night in 6th year. Warning: its legit just talking and setting up the scene. Lots of talking, blackinnon, baby jily, drinking and a tiny (im not joking, it's very little) bit of fluff. Might make into a series. (might) #itsallJKR's

* * *

EVERYBODY WONT STOP TALKING

(PLEASE MAKE THEM STOP)

FIREWHISKEY AND VODKA

It was no longer warm ago – three days of snow had left the grounds covered in a thick sheet of snow – but the inside of the Gryffindor common room was practically a sauna. Well maybe not a sauna, but certainly a sunny, warm, shade less summer day. This was mostly to do with the fact that the common room was a swirl of people – mostly grinding on each other in an attempt of 'dancing' (a cover word in case your friend starts to wonder if u have a crush on the person YOU CERTAINLY DO NOT LIKE IN ANY WAY WHAT SO EVER BACK OFF SARAH). The stars of our story have nothing to do with Sarah and everything to do with crushes. Naturally, the stars of our story were the life of the party.

James, Peter, Remus and fucking Sirius hadn't planned the raging party – instead, they screamed from the quidditch pitch after (another) victory. The 'organisation' when as transcribed:

Sirius black, on his broom: "FUCK YESSSSSS"

James Potter, high-fiving Sirius: "WE NEED TO CELEBRATE!"

 _James Potter flies to the Quidditch Stands in front of_ Remus Lupin _and_ Peter Pettigrew

Remus Lupin, leaning over the guard rail: "Party?"

James Potter, smiling: "Party."

Peter Pettigrew, who had run from the guard rail to the Commenters Stand, stealing the microphone: "IM NOT SAYING THERE IS GOING TO BE A PARTY PROFESSORS, BUT STUDENTS, IF THERE WAS, IT WOULDVE BEEN AT 8PM. MCKINNON DON'T FORGET YOU OWE ME FIREWHISKEY. ONCE AGAIN, THIS WASN'T AN ANNOUCEMENT SAYING THAT WE ARE HAVING A PARTY BUT THAT WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT HAVING ONE AT 8PM. CHEERS"

Marlene McKinnon, sitting next to Lily Evans: Fucking Peter.

Lily Evans, smirking as she drinks from their shared flask: You don't have to feed his alcohol habits you know.

Marlene McKinnon, sighing, stole back the flask and took a swig: I do if I don't want green hair again.

Lily Evans: Shouldn't have bet against him.

Marlene McKinnon: Yeah, yeah.

So now, after being lectured by every, single, professor at Hogwarts (including Binns because apparently, he doesn't notice if you burst into song in class but if you mention the possibility of a party he won't stop screaming), the party in full motion. Remus had his arms around two 4th year boys, lecturing them about drinking responsibly as he gave him swigs of his firewhiskey between sips of butterbeer. Peter was dancing on a table with an empty bottle of Marlene's finest. Lily was drunkenly trying to teach herself how to dance. James, sat next to Sirius and Marlene, had fallen asleep 20 minutes ago, staring at Lily's swaying hips until he passed out.

"Merlin, is he ever going to stop staring at her?" Marlene said. Her and Sirius had kicked a bunch of 5th years off the couch next to the window because a) they could smoke without the drunk people throwing up at the smell b) it had a good view of the common room and c) it gave them an excuse to sit next to each other. They'd only every admit to the first 2.

Sirius laughed out breath of smoke (it was the same colour as his eyes, Marlene noticed before immediately taking a swig of vodka and ignoring it). "He hasn't since I've known him."

Marlene sighed, throwing her incredibly tan and incredibly chubby legs over Sirius lap (Merlin Sirius, don't think about how good they'd look wrapped around you). Marley had cut her hair a few weeks ago after some Slytherin's had used her ponytail to pull her down in fist-fight. Lily had helped her cut it chin level that night.

"Tell me something good," Marley asked.

It was hard to pick good things these days, Sirius thought. More and more muggles were being "mysteriously" murdered while wizards just ignored the problem. Or worse, supported it. "My cousins' getting married."

"I thought Andy and Ted already got married," Marley said, taking another swig before Sirius stole the bottle. "Hence the disowning."

Mouthful of vodka, Sirius replied, "nah not Andy, Peter's cousin Merida."

"Oh, then why didn't you it was Peters cousin?"

"Because Pete's my brother which makes her my cousin too." There wasn't a bone in his body that didn't believe it. He loved Pete for all his flaws – ability to turn into an animagi first, complaining when there was no hot water left and eating all his Bertie Beans.

Marlene left her cigarette hanging from her red lips when she laughed, "Okay hippie."

"I have no idea what that means," Sirius confessed. "Is it like a Phoney Balony? Lily called me that the other day in Charms, said it meant being cool or something."

Marlene erupted into giggles. (Okay so it doesn't mean being cool, Sirius thought) "Phoney Balony means to be a fucking liar. Merlin I love that you're pure blood."

"Remind me to jinx Evans on Monday."

"I'll write it on your toast."

"You're a blessing McKinnon."

"I'm aware Black."

They watched the party for a while after that. It was intoxicating – both the alcohol in their blood streams and the people. The people, man, they were alive in every sense of the word. Were their senses dulled? 100%. But were they happy? 100%. Music replaced thoughts and they wound around the dance floor, not caring who they danced with, only that they danced and drank and laughed. After a while, everyone just blurred into one and it became impossible to tell everyone apart. They were all one giant being, dancing badly to the beat. Peter loved it, he thought, as he crashed into the couch.

"Have you heard the news?" Pete asked Marlene, leaning (uncomfortably) over Sirius to do so.

"About your cousin?" Marley asked, uncertain.

Peter screwed up his face. "Nah, about Thomas Andrews and Mary McDonald."

"What about them?" Sirius asked. He pulled out another cigarette and gave it to Pete.

Leaning the tip against Sirius', Peter lit his cigarette. He gave his firewhiskey to Sirius and said, "Apparently they just fucked."

"What?!" Marlene and Sirius yelled, scandalised not by the fact that – per common knowledge and not truth – the Thomas and Mary had been virgins until just then.

"Yeah, I know, right. I mean screw whoever you want but probably wasn't the best idea to lose your virginity while being wasted."

"Tom wasn't a virgin." The boys looked at Marlene, not in shock but in annoyance. Marley had been the school whore since 5th year – her antics didn't surprise anyone anymore.

"When did you screw him?" Sirius asked.

"And why didn't you tell us?" Peter asked, earning a high-five from Sirius.

"Okay 1. Chill," Marlene said, stealing a 4th years abandoned butterbeer from the coffee table. "It was in his dorm maybe 3 hours ago. I was gunna tell you when you sobered up Pete, god."

Peter smiled. Sirius did not.

"You went into their dorm?" Sirius had put his hands on her legs. He traced his fingers over her thunder thighs while she laughed uncontrollably. A smile formed on his face. "You went into the other 6th year dorms?! You traitor!"

Threw burst of giggles, Marlene spurted, "Yours's is better. I. swear."

"Can you guys cut out the flirting please, I'm gunna vomit." Peter had somehow gotten a bowl of abandoned chips and was eating them by the handful. Marlene threw herself into the corner as Sirius pulled his hands away.

"Sure it isn't the booze Pete?" Sirius laughed.

"Yup, 100% positive that it's your sexual tension." Drunk Peter was the best Peter.

"How are you gunna survive ur cousins wedding then?" Marlene asked, desperate to dissolve the tension.

"Merlin that's not going to be an issue, don't worry."

"And why not?"

"Because I've read the best man's speech and it literally talks about how while Merida still drawing in crayons, Drew was playing Quidditch."

"Gross," Marley and Siri said in sync.

"Does make you wonder though," Marlene said, "what our husbands and wives are doing right now."

"Oooh I'll play this game!" Remus giggled, throwing his legs around the coffee table so he was straddling it while clutching butterbeer like it was his lifeline.

"Okay Mister," Marlene laughed at Remus' poor attempt to stay upright. "You go first."

"mmmmmm," Remus said, falling forward. He landed so his torso was lying flat on the table, his head turned towards the threesome and his legs still straddling the coffee table - Sirius wished he had Lily's camera. "Sirius will marry a muggle girl who works in the muggle circus as the elephant poop cleaner-up-erer,"

Marlene and Peter burst into laughs while Sirius contemplated putting flubberworms in Remus's bed. But Marlene had other ideas.

"Nah, Sirius is gunna end up an old bachelor who sleeps on Jamie's couch."

"Who's sleeping on my couch?" James asked, pulling himself upright. His already messy hair was even more askew on one side and completely flat on the side he slept on. Cushion imprints finished off his deshelled hungover look. He reached for Peters firewhiskey.

"Sirius when he's old and lonely," Peter replied.

"Cool," James said, throwing back a swig and relaxing into his armchair.

"Well you're going to be alone too Missy. Alone and with a thousand tiny dogs," Sirius blurted, trying not to be flirty but that was asking him to be Sirius Orion Black.

"Cool just give me a coat and call me Cruella De Ville," Marley laughed, pulling the cigarette packet out of Sirius' jacket. Chain smoking and drinking went hand-in-hand for Miss Cruella De Ville.

"YEEESSSS!" Remus laughed and tried to give Marley a high-five but considering that he was lying down and drunk, it looked more like he was trying to do sign language to the Giant Squid.

The others looked puzzled but considering they didn't know and Remus did – well it meant that it was probably muggle and that was enough for them.

"Do me!" Peter demanded.

"Pete's gunna marry a healer," James said, certain and finite. It left no room for argument.

"Care to give us an explanation champ?" Sirius asked.

"Seemed more plausible than a vet." James smirking a little, shattering his whole façade. The other three marauders burst into laughter at a hidden joke that drunk them found hilarious. Marley did not.

"Moving on." She demanded.

"Remus's wife is gunna be like 20 years older than him," Peter suggested. "Ooh! She'll be his instructor in the ministry!"

"And she'll instruct him on more than how to be great in the office," Sirius winked. James giggled.

"Nah, I bet you that Remus is the actual cougar," Marlene said.

"Oh I like it," Peter smiled.

"I bet you his wife is learning how to write her name in crayons right now," Marlene explained.

"Love, that would make him Andy's daughters age," James explained, handing Marley his drink.

"Even better if it WAS Andy's daughter," Peter added, giggling. Remus gagged.

"Are we not going to do me?" James leaned back, smirking.

"We already know what Lily is doing," Remus said, his eyelids drooping.

Speaking of the devil (yes, devil, don't let the gorgeous red hair and dazzling green eyes and adorable little freckles and shit focus Potter), Lily had waltzed over and leaned on the arm of James chair.

"What am I doing?" Lily drawled. She giggled as she half tripped, half jumped into James' lap. James should've been breathing but he didn't, instead he was laughing and grabbing the bottle from Lily's hands.

"You're going to bed," James said sweetly, brushing some of the hair from Lily's face. She never would have let him do this sober. He knew it. She knew it. Everyone around them knew it. But they let him do it, because in the morning she'd only remember the feeling of his fingers against her ear and how her stomach did flips. And how those flips resulted in vomit in James's lap. And on Peter's arm as they carried her up the stairs. And on her own bedspread. Yeah, it wasn't pretty.


	2. Potter Approved Hangover Cure

DISCLAIMER:

Follows the aftermaths of the night before - once again nothing much happens but you know, thats just how i write apparently.

oh and i tried to do it from everyone point of view but it reads funny and im lazy so im sorry

Reviews r super appreciated

#IT'SALLJK'S

* * *

POTTER APPROVED HANGOVER CURE

Lily hated Mondays. It wasn't that she had to wake up early or that she would inevitably run into racist assholes or even that she'd have a mountain of homework. No Lily hated Mondays for an incredibly selfish reason – hangovers.

Usually it was Marlene or Sirius or Remus or Peter with the hangover, moaning so bloody much that they had to be silencio'd. Lily rarely got so drunk that she A) passed out fully clothed B) vomited on her best friend or C) woke up with a throbbing hangover. And yet, here she was, on a Monday, with her head buried in a pile of toast at breakfast. Thankfully, everyone else was in the same boat.

The entire Gryffindor table was either hungover or exhausted from last night's antics and thus, the usual boisterous table was dead silent. Like completely dead. More dead than she was gunna be once Remus realised she'd stolen his DATDA homework. In Lily's defence, he shouldn't have left it on the common room table.

"James, I do not care what your mother says, I am not eating _that_ ," Remus moaned as James tried to force feed him a spoonful of something incredibly brown and incredibly paste-like.

"Trust me this shit works a treat," James cooed. "Come on Rem, open wide."

"Fuck. Off. James." James did not, however, fuck off. Instead he just continued to ram the spoon into Remus' closed lips.

"James, I'm all for beating your friends into submission," Lily uttered, not filly committed to her sarcasm because *hangover*, "but what exactly are you feeding him?"

James lit up like Flitwick had when attacked by 25 exploding charms (not speaking from experience of course, he maintains that he had nothing to do with the wonderful attack) (it was Remus). "Well Lils," god he liked the sound of her nickname, "Amma used to use this back in India to cure her hangovers and Dad being Dad decided to make it into a better potion. He decided to make it with breakfast foods for some unknown reason ad VOILA you have the Potter Approved Hangover Cure."

Without moving his head from the pile of pancakes in front of him, Peter said, "Don't try it."

"Yeah, I wasn't going to," Lily muttered, focusing back on her breakfast. There was something about the way that James talked about his family that made her blood boil. His Amma was a healer and his Dad, well Fleamont Potter was famous. And not for anything that James would be famous for – that is to say, anything trivial. He was a genius – both his parents were. Hardworking and kind and had both hugged Lily last year when they first met her. God, how did he get to have it so good. How did James get to be: Pureblood, Rich, Smart, Popular, Good at Sports, Objectively Hot, _and_ have a nice family? How did he win the fucking lottery without even trying while Lily had to fight for the $2 she'd won? Even then, she barely got that. It wasn't that she wasn't loved - it was just that she had to fight for everything and it just landed in his fucking lap.

"Give me a piece of toast quick!" Marlene yelled out of breath. She threw herself onto the bench next to Lily and looked over at the three wide-eyed, slack jawed boys.

"Marley," Remus stuttered.

"Yes I'm aware, I don't have a shirt on and my bra has red lace on it," Marlene rolled her eyes. She'd kind of expected more from them to be honest. It wasn't exactly her fault that she'd woken up late.

"Do you want my shirt?" Peter half-heartedly tried to stare at his food.

"Nah I'll steal Blacks," Marlene said off-handily. "Toast?"

Lily handed her best friend a piece of unbuttered bread from her plate. There was no way she could eat without throwing up. "Why do you need it?"

"I made a bet." That sentence meant more to those 6 than anyone else in the school. Bets were taken more seriously than secrets because the punishments were 1000 times worse than exposure. In some cases – a lot when it was Sirius you were betting against – it _included_ exposure.

"Did that bet include coming to breakfast half naked?" Lily smirked.

"Nah, that was all my fault," Marls muttered into her toast.

"Who was the lucky guy?" Remus asked.

Ahh, you know why you realise you've fucked up the second you do something? Well that was the exactly feeling Remus got as he spoke. Because no less than 3 seconds after he opened his mouth, James had shovelled the spoonsful of his so-called cure into his mouth. And 3 seconds after that, the so-called cure and Remus' spit had flown out of his mouth and handed directly on an incredibly pissed-off Lily and Marlene.

"Merlins Beard," Sirius laughed as he swung down next to the girls. They were both sat there, frozen in either shock or anger – Remus prayed to every God in the universe that it was the former. "what did I miss?"

"The murdering of your friend," Lily grunted. There we so many daggers coming out of her eyes that you'd have sworn Remus had just killed her kitten rather than spit on her.

Sirius' eyes gleamed. "Do we have a preference? Or you just gunna spin your wand and kill whoever it lands on because Pete is downhill and an easy kill."

"Thanks mate," Pete scoffed.

"I've got your back ma-." Sirius' last words were cut off by an explosion of jam hitting Remus' square in the face. The red jelly had glued itself onto his eyelashes so tightly that he could only see through a tiny crack – but that was just enough to see who his attacker was.

No less than a second later – Lily was counting – Lily got assaulted with vanilla custard (which wasn't even on the table, she noticed. Wow Remus was that dedicated to summon custard to attack me with? I'm not even mad, just impressed.) Unlike her own attack, it wasn't targeted and had covered her like a white vomit-inducing blanket. The only things visible were her eyes. And they screamed bloody murder.

In the commotion, Marlene had shifted her body so she was facing him and hastily undoing the buttons of his shirt with her long red nails. Sirius shifted slightly in his seat.

"Miss McKinnon, is there a reason you are undressing Mister Black at the breakfast table?"

It was like she had flipped a switch. Every person at the Gryffindor table had turned to look at Miss McGonagall. Everything about her was immaculate – her woven into a tight bun, her robes pressed ad ironed, her lips pressed into a thin line. The only thing that gave her away, was the glint of admiration that lit up her eyes. It was always Remus' favourite aspect of their professor – how easily she could be stern and forgiven simultaneously.

"ahhhh," Marlene stammered, caught off guard.

"She need my shirt Professor," Sirius jumped to her rescue. Marlene shot him a look.

"And why would she need that Mister Black?"

"Well, Professor, Marlene isn't currently wearing a shirt."

"Yes," McGonagall smiled. "I can see that. Care to explain why you're not wearing a shirt Miss McKinnon?"

No. She would rather not.

"Well then, seeing as you have lost both your words and your shirt, it seems fitting that you should spend tonight helping Madam Prince reorganise the library."

Well, Lily thought, that was one way to get Marlene in a library.

"8pm tonight Miss McKinnon. Don't be late," McGonagall said before walking away. She stopped in front of the Great Hall doors, "oh and please do try not make such a mess next time," with a swish of her wand cleared away the mess from Lily and Remus. Minnie smiled and walked away from the slightly pissed Marlene and overly-joyous Remus.

"Well, Pete, I think McGonagall has well and truly forgotten our fallout with Peeves," Remus threw an arm over Peter who sunk under the weight – off both Remus's arms and the memory of the week spent cleaning the Dungeons. "You and I are officially off the least favourite student list."

Lily smiled. Remus had a perpetual frown on his face these days and it was nice to see him carefree for a moment or so – even if Lily still had custard in her hair and vomit breath.

"I think that was less of a hangover cure and more of a felix felicis brew." Lily's warm eyes met James' for just a second, but that one second was just enough to make James insufferably smiley all day (he had a hangover for fucks sake! He should be vomiting in a toilet not smiling at the flowers in Herbology.)


	3. A Case Study of James and Lily

DISCLAIMER:

Here have a JILY chapter. Once again, I'm super sorry its short and trash but you know eh what can u do. They wont stop chattering away inside my head so I'm churning them out as fast as i can badly write them so MY BADDDD

Also I am obsessed with them on Summr vacation bc I am in the dead of summer right now so yeah, lets just pretend they graduate 6th years soon.

#ITSALLJK'S

* * *

A CASE STUDY OF JAMES AND LILY

You know that good mood that James was certain would last all day? Yeah, he had no idea how wrong he could have been. He wasn't happy. In the Greenhouse, listening to Professor Sprout drone on about how important it was to know the correct way to extract Snargarluff pods because it would be on their exams. They spent the rest of the lesson extracting said pods and James had some corrections to the professor's technique. Let's have a study in the difference between the Correct Professor Way and The Correct Potter way:

The Professor Sprout Method:

Step 1. Wearing gloves, use a wand-shaped twig in your left hand as a distraction (left handed students feel free to use your right hand but the Snargarluff _will_ think you are stupid).

Step 2. When the vines spring to life and clutch for the twig, throw it into the vines. Using your right/free hand, reach into the centre of the log and extract the pods.

Step 3. Remove your hands from the reach of the vines.

The James Potter Method:

Step 1. Ignore the steps

Step 2. Get your arms caught in twigs

Step 3. Let Lily Evans do it.

James was quite proud of his method. Lily not so much. Not that James cared much. His arms were covered in thorns and the vines had somehow tangled themselves in his hair. Vibrant voracious green in stark black voracious hair. He looked like a crazed Jesus and Lily wasted no time telling him.

"You should be hanging from a cross right now," she said as she cracked open the pods on their bench. James, in his never-ending wisdom, had called dibs on being her partner the second they had walked down the grounds to the greenhouses. Herbology was _not_ his field of expertise. Not that he sucked, but he had to study to pass – something he didn't have to do with anything else. He didn't even want to do it at a NEWT level but Lily had chosen it and there was no way he wasn't going to jump at the chance to hang out with his prefect buddy.

"What?" James asked, pulling thorns out of his brown arms. They squealed as he pulled them out, leaving a tiny puncture wound. They hurt like a motherfucker.

Lily stopped cutting and stared at James, "You. Should. Be. Nailed. To. A. Cross." She repeated. "No wonder McGonagall hates you."

"She does not," James clutched his chest in mock horror. "She _loves_ me."

Lily patted his arm patronisingly. "Sure, she does." She did though, and Lily knew it, but there was no way in hell she was going to make James Potter's head any bigger than it already was. She still couldn't help the smile that spread across her face when he smiled at her. It was just infectious okay. It had nothing to do with that way that she could swim for days in those big brown eyes of his or how she longed to trace the raised veins along his lean arms. No, it had nothing to do with that at all.

"Lils," James said, "you keep missing the pod."

Lily looked at her hands and sure enough they did clutch a wand, but that wand wasn't sending cutting curses into the pods like they were supposed to. No, they were sending them 10cm _next_ to the pods, leaving a decent gash in the wooden bench. Lily's entire face grew red.

James laughed softly. "It's okay love. Give it here, I'll cut them."

 _Love_.

The word fell out of his mouth like honey.

Lily had heard James call every witch, wizard and owl love, and yet, she still froze. (lily snap out of it James didn't confess his love for you and you don't care you don't like james you don't like james you don't like james he has called you love a billion times before like last night- )

Fuck.

"I vomited on you last night, didn't I?" Lily muttered. She wished with every fibre in her being that she hadn't put her hair in a ponytail before class because man what she wouldn't done to hide her face from James' right now.

"You sure did," James shot her a smile as he poured all his concentration into cutting the pods into equal 8th. Slug horn would kill them if they weren't even when he collected them from Sprout.

That smile did nothing for Lily. Or maybe it did a lot – they are so similar sometimes. Like crying not because you're sad, but because you're so happy. Lily had never been able to tell the difference between the different tears. They felt the same to her. Just like right now how she couldn't be _sure_ if she felt like dying because she A) hated the smile or B) hated being without it. She made a mental note to ask Marlene later.

Lily hadn't noticed that she'd been silent that long until James spoke.

"Lils? Are you okay?" He asked so softly that she had to strain to hear it.

Lily looked up and surprisingly found James staring at her, his brow furrowed. Just staring at her like he always had – a mixture of confusion, admiration, free of judgement. She used to hate it. Used to. Sometime between the beginning of 6th year, the late nights spent in prefect meetings, swapping petrol duties with Remus to laugh with James – well somewhere between it all, she'd stopped hating the way he stared at her.

"Lils?"

She shook her head, forcing a small smile onto her face. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just a little hungover."

"You should have had my hangover cure at breakfast then," James wiggled his eyebrows at her. Strangled laughter bubbled from Lily's stomach, earning an inquisitive look from Sprout and a proud one from James.

"I wouldn't eat that if it was the last thing on earth," Lily said, scooping the pods into their jars. "I could go for a nap right now though."

"We _do_ have Binns class next period," James said. He had written their names on the jar containers – his incredibly neat handwriting what was he a 17th century writer merlin – and was starting to pack his bag.

As studious as she was, even Lily couldn't find Binn's class entertaining. She'd study what she missed in the library later. "If we get there first we can transfigure the desk tops into pillows."

"I like the way you think Miss Evans," James said, running off. "Meet you there."

(I like the way you make me feel, Mister Potter) (I'd meet you anywhere) (fuck).


	4. Yeah Off Limits

Disclaimer:

BLACKINNON SMUT

SMUT. SMUT SMUT SWEARING 70'S SMOKING AND SMUT SMUT SMUT.

It takes a while to get into it and I got carried away in plot but yeah it's definitely smut. Also first time I've written it so lets just see how bad it is. ill be thankful for a 4/10.

Also please send reviews my ego is fragile and in need of constant validation for my poor writing choices.

#IT'SALLJKS

* * *

YEAH. OFF LIMITS

The smell was the worst thing. Lily could spend hours smelling the old books, full of history and knowledge. It was her idea of heaven – and Marlene's version of hell. She'd already vomited once – Madam Pince took one look and walked into her office - which just added to the pile of shit she had to clean up.

Marlene ran her finger along the spines, half-heartedly reading the titles as she restacked the shelves, making stories up about what was inside. _James and the magic Peach_ – Potter stumbling into the potions lab, turning himself into a peach with a terrible attitude. _101 ways to kill household pets_ – 101 diagrams of Peters farts suffocating garden gnomes (number 51 involved a fair amount of lube and shoving). _Elgbert and Lancome's secrets to study_ – Elgbert and Lancome killing a man named Study and to keep it a secret, turned themselves into a giant peach. Yeah, okay, Marlene was dying.

Why, why, why, why, why the fuck did she have ruin her shirt last night. why?! Marlene wasn't stupid – despite whatever Lily said (she was just mad that Marls was withholding her Led Zeppelin record) (Lily scratched _every single_ record she touched fuck that it was expensive). Nah, she wasn't stupid, she just fucked up and if there was one thing in this world that Marlene was, it was a fuck up. She'd just got caught in the aftermath this time. Next time, she wouldn't wear her uniform. She'd just been too drunk to change. Not too drunk to climb onto the roof though –

"TIMES UP!" Madam Pinces voice echoed through the library. As if rehearsed, everyone sighed, dropped their books and walked straight out the door. (What? You expected people who were _serving detention_ to put away their book carts in an _orderly fashion?_ )

There were roughly four other people in that cramped stuffy library – Marlene was sure of it – but surely enough, there was no one outside when the library doors slammed obnoxiously loud behind her. God no wonder no one cleaned up afterwards – Pince was a fucking nutcase. _More than enough of them in this place_ , Marlene thought as she put a cigarette between her teeth. Her lighter stayed hidden in her bra (1. She wasn't stupid enough to put in her skirt pocket and 2. She wasn't going to light up inside the building.). As soon as she flew out the grounds doors though – that was a whole other situation.

"BOO!"

Sirius jumped directly in front of Marlene. Marlene – who was too focused on the sweet nicotine between her teeth - (you guys know, you were there for fucks sake) – jumped out of her skin.

And threw her left fist forward.

It connected with Sirius' jaw with a crack.

"Fuck sake McKinnon," Sirius growled, clutching his jaw. He threw a glance around the grounds – as if expecting anyone as suicidal as them to be outside. Hogwarts may have been _the safest place to be_ – to quote Albus fucking Dumbledore (Marlene could think of a few other words for it too – a prison, hell but with exam papers instead of torture etcetera, etcetera)- but that didn't mean that a half-blood and blood traitor should be walking around the grounds in pitch black. Yeah, should was never a word either of them liked.

"Oh, stop being a fucking baby Black," Marlene rolled her eyes. She pulled out her bright blue lighter and inhaled, trying to focus on her lungs dying and not Sirius. _Holy fuck_ , a purple bruise was already forming around the graze she'd made. Damn she'd forgotten about her rings. Her fingers brushed against the graze carefully as pride swelled inside her – damn she threw a good punch.

Her words formed in the shape of her smoke, "Why are you even here?" She hadn't moved her hand and they were both super aware of it.

"Can't a guy sit against the castle walls to enjoy a lovely moonless night such as this," He gestured to the cloudless night sky as if Marlene didn't know where the stars lived. She regretted (for the 80th time) letting him see her report card last semester.

"No, you can't," Marlene said. Tensions ran high these days. People were dying left, right and centre. People were worried, even within the relative safety of Hogwarts, and fear never leads to peaceful interactions. And, except for tonight, Sirius always hit back.

Sirius gently removed Marlene's hand from his jaw. _Fuck, thought to soon. Should I remind him that my left side is better? God no, he'll just hit that side instead – to even out my ugliness or some other bullshit._ He was just supposed to push her hand away but something caught his eye. He took her chubby hand in his and carefully turned it over. "Marlene I'm fucking bleeding!"

Marlene rolled her eyes, "Only a little, calm down." She took her hand from his and threw it into her pockets instead as she began walking around the side of the castle.

Not to be left standing there like a wounded animal, Sirius followed. "I'm going to bleed out any second now and you only care about that bloody cigarette." Still smirking – hell he was always fucking smirking, he was like a raccoon that way – he pulled out his own cigarette and placed it lazily between his parted lips.

He would have looked cool, Marlene thought, with the cigarette barely sitting on his bottom, his grey eyes filled with the clouds the sky couldn't offer. Yeah, he would've looked real cool. If only he wasn't digging in his school pockets and swearing under his breath.

Marlene's lips curled into a smile. "Need a light?" There was a reason people didn't leave their lighters in their pockets – they had a bad habit of falling out and mysteriously landing in Peters hands. His attempt to stop them smoking. Apparently, Sirius thought he was exempt. Apparently, he was not.

Soundlessly, he took a step – and another – and another, until the tips of their toes touched. Sparks ran up Marlene's body that had nothing to do with the lighter she was pulling out from her shirt. The top two buttons were undone, giving Marlene's hand – and Sirius' eyes – full access to her bra and the blue lighter within. She placed the lighter in his hand.

It took him a second to respond ( _I mean holy fuck Marls looked good in that shade of red, I mean she always looked good, merlin, but fuck)_ but he took the lighter and leaned back on the exposed brick wall behind him.

Leaning there, Marlene couldn't help but admire him. He was hot. Not even in an objective I've-known-him-since-I-was-11 kind of hot. Right now, with a purple bruise forming in the dull library light, his long black hair messily framing his face, his grey eyes piercing from underneath his dark eyebrows – right now, Sirius Black looked like he'd walked through hell for her and would do it again in a heartbeat. And, if he followed Marlene's heartbeat, he would be running at the speed of light.

"What are you staring at McKinnon?" Sirius smirked, knowing full well what she was staring at. He had been stared at the way every since day since the puberty train hit in at full speed during 4th year. He never stopped liking it. "The big gash you left on my face?"

"You were staring at my boobs before," she arched an eyebrow.

His façade shattered for a second. Only for a second though, but in that second, Marlene saw him hesitate. _What the fuck?_ Before she had time to decipher it, the façade was rebuilt and that obnoxious smirk was plastered right back on his face. "They're good boobs."

"I'm not objecting." Her voice shook a little.

Her eyes never left his lips. His perfectly round lips. It took all her self-restraint to not reach up and pull them onto hers.

 _Just bite the fucking bullet Marlene stop making this awkward what are you a fifth year?_

"I wasn't staring your jaw. A little left of there actually," she smirked. Marlene ran her thumb over her lips to prove her point. A shiver ran down Sirius's spine.

"You're all talk and no action McKinnon," Sirius teased. It was almost involuntary, his flirting. It can so naturally these days, flirting with everybody who crossed his path. But this, this was different. This was Marlene – the girl who had almost fucked more people that he had (almost) (what Black didn't know wouldn't kill him), the girl who lazily throws her legs in his lap in the common room, who throws bludgers at him at practice, who was strictly off limits. Yeah. Off-Limits. The smirk stayed on his face. _Merlin_ Marlene used every ounce of self-restraint to not wipe it clean off.

Turns out, Marlene had very little self-restraint.

"Am I Black?" Marlene took one last drag of her smoke, before throwing it on the dewy ground and stomping it out. She moved forward until her legs purposely bumped into his, spreading them. She wiggled herself into she stood firmly between his thighs. Standing this close, Marlene had to strain her head all the way to see his face. She glanced just long enough to see his smirk quiver for a second, before directing her attention to his chest.

His untucked shirt was slightly too big around his shoulders, making him seem scrawnier this close. How had Marlene not noticed this before? She's been forced to stare at him for an hour in Divination yesterday and she had _plenty_ of time to trace the muscles that wormed their way through his shirt. But now? None of them were visible. Was he wearing someone else shirt yesterday? _Fuck._ He wasn't wearing his own shirt – Marlene had that honour. He'd literally given Marlene the shirt off his back. And boy, if Marlene wasn't going to thank him for that, right _fucking_ now. It had nothing to do with her hormones, of course. She was just a grateful fucking human.

She traced her fingers up his chest, gripped his loosened tie and pulled it down sharply towards her. Sirius's breath quickened.

"If I am not mistaken," her breath softly grazing his ear. "I am all action."

The words were out of his mouth before his thoughts could form: "Prove it."

The next thing Sirius noticed were her lips – her round, red painted lips – on his earlobe, sucking gently and _fuck_ , holding his soft skin between her teeth. His mouth fell open – he paid no attention to his cigarette as it landed, instead focusing on the way her lips trailed down his exposed neck. Her lips trailed wet, hot kisses down his jaw, her tongue running across his pulse point. It wasn't going fast enough for her liking, she thought, as she thrust her hips into his.

A moan escaped Sirius's lips as he rocked back against her. Marlene let go of his tie – she needed her hands for more important things, like tracing the defined V of his lips, her fingers inching closer and closer to his pants. Her mouth placed wet lazy kisses right above his bulging zipper. A moan escaped Sirius' lips, vibrating through his entire body and into Marlene's tingling lips. She giggled as she pulled just far enough away to catch a glimpse of his grey eyes watching her intensely before she lowered herself to her knees. _Oh fuck_. She looked good there, bare knees sinking into the wet grass, lips swollen from his hot skin, her eyes frenzied.

Marlene knew what she was doing as she held the zipper between two of her red-painted fingers and tugged on it gently. Way to gently for Sirius's liking.

"Marls," he growled.

The zipper was stuck on his bugling boxers. "What?" she pouted, a fake innocence plastered on her puckered lips. "you want me to stop?" neither of them were stopping.

" _merlin beard_ , no," he threw his head hard against the brick wall. Pain shot threw his body but it was nothing compared to the throbbing in his pants.

"Didn't think so," Marlene smiled, clearly enjoying having the upper hand. Or maybe she had the lower hand, she realised as she pulled his pants down. She traced the outline of his cock through his underwear until Sirius growled deeply. She hooked her fingers around the band and pulled down.

His cock as barely escaped before it got trapped between Marlene's lips. Her tongue rolled around the tip while her finger gently massaged his balls.

" _mmm_ _good girl_ ," Sirius moaned, focusing on the way her little brown haired head bobbed between his legs. Her tongue was hot and heavy around his cock and it took all he had to restrain himself. _You want to fuck her not just cum in her mouth you only get to do this once_.

She pulled his cock out of her mouth. "You like that?" she ran her tongue from the tip down to the bass of his cock, kissing where it met his balls.

 _yes yes yes yes yes, he thought._

"Not as much as you're about to enjoy this." He grabbed her shoulders roughly – Marlene gasped – and pulled her onto her feet. "Come here." As soon as her feet found the ground though, he threw her against the wall, wrapping one leg around his waist.

His fingers rough from Quidditch, traced circles into her thighs, inching their way up, up, up while his mouth attacked the base of her throat. Moans flew out of Marlene' mouth like hexes.

"You want me to hurry up?" he teased.

Marlene had no time for pretence. She nodded her head vigorously.

Sirius smirked as his fingers, still gripping her inner thighs, stopped moving. "I'm sorry I couldn't hear you."

Moaning – in annoying not pleasure this time, and Sirius certainly heard the difference but it just made him harder – Marlene whispered: "please."

"Please what?" her mumbled into her skin

"You know what."

"I don't think I do," Sirius said. Proving his point, he pushed his cock against her wet pussy slowly. She had to bite her lip from moaning so loud the Professors would wake. Sirius's brain was working double time _think about Marlene as your mother, your uncle, fucking Dumbledore – just think about anything other than the fact that she isn't wearing any. God. Damn. Underwear._

"Please. fuck me."

He didn't respond, just ran his cock lightly against her folds. Marlene leaned into him, willing him closer, closer closer until they were fused together. But Sirius wouldn't have that, not yet anyway. Following her example before, he dropped to his knees, his eyes pleading with hers: "babe, now would be a lovely time to lift up that skirt of yours." So, she did.

God everything they said about him was true. He knew what he was doing.

His tongue found her first, licking her in wide slow strokes. Marlene gripped his hair, pulling him closer, willing him to go faster and man did he oblige. His tongue started moving faster, taking her gently between his teeth – tugging just enough that it made her moan – while his finger searched for that little bundle of nerves.

She gasped, throwing her head back when he found it. The wasted no time, his fingers circling it, rubbing it before they trailed down and his mouth replaced them. It was magic – and Marlene didn't say that lightly. He knew how to put _just_ enough pressure on her clit that it made her breath hitch, knew how to run his finger between her folds, teasing her, making her want more. " _god_ stop being so fucking gentle."

 _Fuck_. He pulled her mouth away from her – the air cold on her now drenched pussy. It was practically dripping when Sirius shoved his sock inside her.

 _"_ _oh fuck,"_ The words escaped Marlene's mouth before she had a chance to stop them. Her mind was completely blank while he rammed into her. With each swift movement, pain and pleasure mingled together in her body – intensified by the cold rough brick wall she hit with every thrust.

Sirius hummed into her skin and she lifted her legs around his waist, propping herself completely against him. Their hips moved in sync – him thrusting up just in time to meet her bouncing decent, throwing him deeper inside her. Her hands gripped his arse, her fingernails digging into him, further into her.

Marlene screamed as he met that sweet spot, bouncing into it again and again until her vision started to blur – partly because of the rising heat of her imminent orgasm, partly the blood that began to trickle down her back. She was hitting that back wall hard but _fuck_ she didn't care.

She didn't care as her mouth latched onto his throat, sucking, biting, licking – anything to make him moan.

She didn't care when her hands travelled off his ass to rub the sweet spot behind his balls.

She _definitely_ didn't care when his fingers found her clit and her scream set off a chain reaction.

Her mind-numbing, head throbbing, scream was drowned out by Sirius' own as he spilled into her.

They stayed like that, slick with sweat, regaining their breath for a moment before Marlene untangled her legs from his waist. He feet landed on the floor with a heavy thump. Sirius placed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

An unease settled between them as the ecstasy wore off. They'd fucked. It had been amazing and _fucking orgasmic_ but they – two people who had sworn on James' life that they wouldn't fuck for the sake of their friendship – had fucked. They were fucked because there wasn't a doubt in Marlene's mind that they wouldn't screw again. And the both knew it.

Sirius leaned backward, stretching his back. "You were heavier than I thought."

On second thoughts, maybe they wouldn't fuck. Or be friends. Or even be friendly. Ever. Again. Sirius saw her flushed face harden, her teeth all but bared for a fight – you'd have to be a fucking idiot to not see it. "I didn't mean it like that," he stumbled. "I just meant – "

"You just meant what Black?" she cocked her head, "Tell me exactly what you meant about me and my thunder thighs and my round belly and every other part of me – tell me again how I was heavy. i. dare, you." She said the last words with her wand pointed firmly on his chest. Sirius had been watching her the whole time and still didn't understand where or when she'd gotten her wand.

There was nothing he could say. He knew it. He knew that as much as Marlene, the 5'2 blimp of a girl, embraced her weight and refused to be shamed by others publicly, privately it was still a sore spot.

Usually she would take a breath, remind herself that she had her mother's body and her mama was the most beautiful lady in the world, and she would slam whoever had shamed her. But this was Sirius, her friend – even if they had just shagged – and he should know he has more power to her than most.

He stayed silent.

She ripped off the shirt she was wearing, threw it into the ground and mumbled something along the lines of _your shirt was fucking uncomfortable anyway_. But Sirius wasn't paying any attention to her words. No, he was too focused on watching her walk away.

He wasn't going to walk after her. He really wasn't. He was going to let her cool off and maybe talk to her at breakfast. He was until they heard the scream.

Marlene turned around, facing him with her eyes full of fear. It wasn't a scream they'd screamed passionately before. This was a scream someone made before they died. They'd both seen enough of this bloody war – even inside the walls – to recognise that scream when they heard it.

Sirius was always a faster runner than she was – something about having longer legs – but he held her hand in his and dragged her up the castle stairs. They had to find whoever screamed. They had to. Before someone else, someone less trustworthy did. It had sounded like it came from one or the windows above them, so they ran hand in hand along the East side of Hogwarts.

When they found the screamer, they were less than relieved. They'd nearly ran straight past it. Sirius was dragging her along the first corridor, when the light caught Marlene's eye. The library door was slightly ajar letting out the faint flicker of candle light. She pulled him back, heart dropping. The library got locked after she left – she heard the bolts as Pince slammed the door. Alohomora wouldn't work. Yet it was open. Only one person Marlene knew could open it.

Suspicions counted, nothing prepared them for what they saw inside. There were 5 people inside besides Marls and Sirius. Three bodies were spread out of the floor – one who's skin had been partly peeled away, one with their limbs arranged painfully incorrectly and one with their hair trailing into blood. One of the remaining bodies met their eyes briefly.

"Why is it that you never have a shirt on?" Peter asked but his eyes had travelled back to the body that lay beside Remus. Her red hair was unmistakable. Lily.


End file.
